New Memories

Recently I’ve come to specifically replace a newer better image in my mind’s eye with something not so pleasant that I have seen recently. With the bombardment with the media flashing sensationalised images, scenes and stories at us all the time, there are moments where despite my avoidance of the news, that somehow it comes into my peripheral reality.

For instance, I saw an image of a child that had not been treated well when I was reading another news related article on parenting. I did not come to that site for the bad image, nor was that the topic of what I was reading, but it was in the sidebar of suggested articles to read. It was disturbing enough that I thought about that image constantly over the next few days.

Then came a moment where I said to myself that enough is enough and I need to do something to change this. So, I started to imagine a healthy, happy and smiling child as a replacement. The image of a bright and beautiful child who has been well taken care of and obviously loved. This image of love and health is now becoming the dominate image in my mind when it is pulled up in my memory.

It is taking conscious effort to create this change in my mind. At first there was a delay and it felt hard to superimpose this image onto. However, after doing it again and again, it now is almost automatic. Eventually in my minds eye, the loving image will prevail.

I know that I can do this with stories, but this is the first time I’ve consciously done it with an image. I know the power of it and I know there is room for deep healing in this process. It isn’t about sweeping a bad image under the rug, but it is about being aware that in my world, I get to choose what stays in it and how it stays. I am responsible for my subconscious and I am responsible for how I operate in this world. I know that I am sensitive, so if I employ these tactics, it will indeed help me to acknowledge that the other exists, but to still walk in the light.

Incredibly Full


Full of the son

Full of the light

If I were a cup I’d be at the brim


I’m only at 26 weeks.

How much more can I inflate?


I see him moving


protruding in my belly

cliffs are formed

waves are created

and then silence.

Incredibly Full

my body is

a house for another

for a new soul

for the emerging sun.

Incredibly full

until my cup

my body

filleth over.

14 more weeks

of feeling

of learning what I can take

of gestating this being

of using my body fully.