Baby A is 4.5 months corrected, 6.5 physical age; 21 weeks corrected or 29 weeks physical.

The paediatrician said that I should only go by his corrected due date because it doesn’t matter if he was in the humidicrib or in the womb, he was still developing and wasn’t ready to be out yet! He also said that 2 months is a big time frame when you have only been alive for six months. Same goes for one year, and even two years, then it starts to even out a bit.

So now at 21 weeks he touches his toes and grabs his feet! He had casually done it before, but now he does it with such a sense of discovery and joy. His favourite time to really play with them is when he is on the change table, diaper free! He puts his cute plump short legs into the air and reaches his hands up and pulls on his feet and toes! The cutest thing ever! He lights up with his eyes taking it all in, and a huge smile paints his face with joy.

I love getting to watch his grow and discover!

Something I’ve learned is to put baby down at the first signs of being tired. These tired signs include:

fussiness

rubbing eyes

red eyebrows

general crankiness

Otherwise, if I don’t put him down then he becomes “overtired” and then he is nearly inconsolable. He will then cry and refuse to sleep.

Having a baby and becoming a mother has been very scorpio to me.

To simultaneously love something and not know if you can go further, but somehow do.

The crying, the laughter, the crying, the tears, the smiles, the poo.

The tired eyes, the exhaustion, the elated joy.

Going the distance for someone else.

Abandoned any sense of selfishness. It doesn’t exist as a mother.

Merging with bub because there is no other way, he is from me.

Wondering if sleep will ever be something that I can do for hours at a time again. Wondering if parents actually just get used to not sleeping? Wondering how I somehow continue to cope with the lack of sleep and relatively function during the day.

I know it has a profound effect upon my brain and my ability to think and problem solve. I know it has a major effect upon the amount of caffeine I have been drinking to stay awake. A decaf latte and a herbal tea just aren’t cutting it for me these days.

Ready for baby to sleep through, or at least get four to five hours minimum in a row at night. Please.