I’m well aware its time to get healthy.
How can I serve myself when I feel so filthy?
I overthink, I don’t let go – my mind is a messy clutter.
My visions blurred, it makes me feel lost and fluttered.
I constantly replay the scenes from my past
then I skip to now to compare and contrast.
It does me no good to live my life this way
I’m ready to be carefree an relearn how to play.
So I drive by myself down the lonely highway
to pick up fruit and a big fragrant bouquet.
The flowers make me smile and I gain some headway,
my mood starts to lighten and the grey goes away.
It’s simple pleasures like these that make me so gay –
an easy slow drive through the mountains on a Tuesday
that remind me I know how to climb the big stairway.
I’m really good at closing myself off,
but its because of this that I’ve finally read Chekhov.
I have one foot on the step, my hand is gripping the rail.
I get real distracted and want a pale ale.
I shake that urge, I refocus and consciously exhale.
I need all my energy or else I might bail
and I can’t do that nor can I fail.
I know I have a long journey ahead,
I’m resisting the temptation to give up and be led.
So I’m finally pulling myself together
striving everyday to be a little better.
It has to be easier than I’m making it
so I’m reframing the window so I can benefit.
I’ve been learning quite a bit and still have more to go
I know its up to me how long I’m gonna row.
I have to have faith that it will happen
as I’m climbing the stairs out of the canyon
making my own pace while slaying my dragons
working my way up so I can sit in the wind and listen to the aspen.