Embracing the Feminine

For so much of my life I have been rather yang, strong, masculine, directed. Even when I haven’t been attached to a corporate job, I’ve taken on my life like it’s been a serious role. I have been incredibly direct, ambitious, hard headed, and overt. I had a challenging childhood which is actually classified as being traumatic, and I’ve come to peace with it. Thankfully I have been hard like this because I needed to be in order to do things differently from the life I had been born into.

Now that I am pregnant and expecting my first child later this year, the more feminine side of me, the yin, the softer, gentler, more subtle aspects of me are starting to emerge. Starting may be an understatement because there are days where it feels more like a crashing tide of change where the feminine is taking the space. I have never felt more beautiful, or more like a woman, or more like this incredibly powerful being as I do right now.

I can only imagine that this gets stronger as I get closer to giving birth, and even moreso after I actually am caring for this child that has been created out of love. Having experienced what it’s like to be very yang, and now embracing the yin and the feminine side of who I am, I know this will equip me to the best and whole person, mother, partner, citizen, being that I can possibly be. I recall that when I was younger my prayers always ended with “and please help me to be the best person I can possibly be”. Having that thought, coupled with the action I have taken in my life to accomplish this and it’s all happening. I am that.

The feminine energy is so lovely too. When my husband and I were first dating I told him very clearly (in a super yang way) that I needed him to hold the masculine space because I needed to hold the feminine space. I knew I needed it, and that was the first time where I actually voiced it so clearly. What a blessing that I was able to recognise that. By having my husband hold that yang space, it allowed me to develop my own yin, feminine space and because of this we have both benefited greatly by becoming our whole selves.

I am going to be an amazing mother. I am an amazing wife and partner. We will create such an amazing and creative family and I am thrilled to be on this journey. I embrace the feminine with who I am and allow it to help me grow in ways that I haven’t yet experienced, for the good of all.

Aphrodite Archetype

The Aphrodite Archetype I completely resonate with. I am strong yet uber feminine. I dive deep into relationships and give my all to the moment until it’s done. Sensuality is one of the divine gifts of the physical world and I enjoy colours, flavours, textures and touch as part of my “must have”. I take great care of my self and my body, I take the time to enhance my feminine nature and my features by choosing clothing that suits me and works well with my curvaceous figure.

Aphrodite was able to inspire change in those she spent time with and I do the same. I consistently am in a process of continual rebirth and blending my feminine and masculine aspects to create an incredible whole. I am highly creative and love to express myself in every aspect that I can whether it be by painting, drawing, speaking, dressing, creating a meal, in every way I express my creative energy.

I feel very blessed to resonate with the Aphrodite archetype. I am a very strong woman and appreciate that I can gain insight and inspiration from such a tremendous Goddess!

 

 

Eel Totem and “Great Change”

Three weeks ago I graduated from University. Since then I have gone through a series of different emotions, running fast, then slowing right now, and even sprained my ankle! It’s an interesting space to be in where there are expectations of what a new graduate does, as in gets a typical job works and makes a little money. However, I haven’t wanted to return to something or a way of life that I have previously experienced, so I have been feeling the pull towards that familiar route and simultaneously a strong push away from it. It’s not that I don’t want to spend my time making valuable contributions to the world using my new knowledge and positively impact the world. I do! It’s just that old way of working does not appeal to me. Trading my life for someone else’s goals and ideas when I may just happen to find them on a job board is not appealing to me.

Offers have been coming my way that are not traditional as well, which I am very thankful for. None have fully resonated with me though. It’s not like they aren’t totally suited to me, because they are, it’s just that I don’t feel passionate about them. They happen to be jobs that are in line with my interests and the way I operate in the world, but for some reason that voice inside of me isn’t saying “GO GO GO”! Instead what’s happening is that I spend a heap of time deliberating if it’s a good idea, and it usually is, and if the pay will be enough for me and for the most part it has been, but there’s something vital missing. In all of these offers I’m still pushing someone else’s agenda which still does positively affect the world, but I don’t feel energised by the thought of actually doing the work to do it.

Obviously I am curious about myself as I witness this space of transformation. When I truly think about what does appeal to me, it is the ability to be my best self, make a difference in the world, make and complete highly ambitious goals and live a high end lifestyle. This is what I want and I am researching and learning about how others have done it and are doing it to gain some insight and inspiration. What I want is to combine all of my awesome into one package and deliver it in a relatable way to others. What I want is to inspire change in others like I have been inspired over the years and help people live in their best version of themselves. I want this for others because I want this for myself. I want to be happy and generous and kind and appreciative, and I also want to inspire others to also find their key qualities.

I truly believe that I can change the world but I know it will take collaboration and trust. I choose to live a meaningful life where I feel great about what I do every day, where I look my best, and I present my very best version of me.

Of course as I’m coming to all of this, the outside world reflects something so interesting and shows up as a guidepost on my path. Where I live there is a duckpond, it’s lovely. There are brown ducks, black ducks, a couple of white ducks and I took down some toasted bread for them this evening. Well, as I stood there passing out toasted treats to the ducks, I noticed an eel! Not just one but two eels! I’ve visited the pond countless times, not once have I ever seen this! I watched them and saw that the ducks left them alone and the eels left the ducks alone, they just both lived together. Every once in a while a duck would mistake the eel for food and give it a nibble but the eel just went along on it’s way.

As soon as I got home I looked up what an eel totem represented and lo and behold it all about awakening the kundalini energy of the serpent and “Great Transformation”! That the eel watches and takes in all the information and at the opportune time moves forward with ease. I know I am going through a major change and to have this reflected in the outer world still amazes me. Perhaps I needed to be reminded of the divinity in nature and in the world so that I can further honour it and allow myself to fully be present and accept that I will get everything I want as soon as I want it enough to just be it.