You never know what people are going through.
Some hide it with a smile
Some hide it with achieving great things
Some hide it by being the centre of attention, on stage
Most quietly go through their struggles, alone.
The older I get and the more I actually talk with people about what is really happening in their lives, I realise that we all have baggage of some sort. Some of it we acknowledge because it’s painstakingly clear, but some is so obscure and its like we unintentionally continue to act it out without awareness.
I have met so very many people in my life from all over the world due to living and working on popular destinations and from living abroad. I never really knew about the struggles that people were going through. I always kept it light and tried to just be present with what was going on at the time.
Now that I’ve gone through and am still going through my own struggles relating to the emotional pain I experienced leading up and birthing my son, I notice that more people open up to me about their own struggles. I had this happen as well after the head on collision, but not in the same way, now it is so raw, it is an emotional wound that I and other women that I have been speaking to, carry within themselves, not for show in the outside world, like a scar across the face.
Part of me thinks that the internal struggle that none can physically see is the harder to bear. At least when having a scar exposed, the topic is already on the table. However, for an internal scar, a wound that maybe hasn’t healed yet, it needs to be talked about in a loving space.
For most things in life I think that its best to just move on and focus on whats happening now and by doing so, life will automatically readjust to be the best for you. However, now having experienced this major internal trauma, I find it absolutely essential to talk about it, to feel all the emotions in order to process it as best as we can, and then allow time to lessen the burn.
I found myself bawling in a mother’s group that I am a part of yesterday as another woman shared her traumatic birthing experience, it felt all so real, and I know that we were so close to being like her, losing her baby at the final moment due to the same placental abruption that I had gone through with Baby A.
I felt the pain as it was so fresh, the wound was wide open. Some days I think I have been able to come to peace with it, and then other days I am completely amidst the throes of the memory. When Baby A came down with a cold around Mother’s Day all of those same painful emotions and fears came rushing back. I wasn’t expecting it, I wasn’t prepared for it, but all I could do was try to stay present, as present as possible.
My method of staying present when the feelings come rushing in when I am taking care of bubs and cannot have the time alone to really feel the feelings to let the go, I bring it back to right now, I remind myself that we are safe, we are alive, we are healthy, this is now, and I find some way to smile, to laugh.
I need to remember this, that everyone is struggling in some way the next time I get mad at someone on the road, or get frustrated with the way I see people behaving with their children. We all have something. We all have something to learn and grow from.