Not a Doll

He just wanted me

to be a doll – 

beautiful and quiet,

smiling politely

around the lions and wolves

of his society.

He would urge me to shop

to spend his family’s money

he would always laugh

around his special company.

When I would speak up 

about social issues 

or speak with the maids 

he would always excuse 

“she’s American” he’d say

then revert to the 

stock prices of the day. 

More concerned with money

and financial affairs

with his Blackberry in hand

like a big business man. 

I was fooled quite well at first

while living in the high desert

where I thought he quenched my thirst.

A little late it all became clear 

after I had rearranged my life to be near.

So I distanced myself more and more

I refused to shop or buy needless things

I didn’t want to be the caged bird

I couldn’t forget how to sing. 

I didn’t want him to think he had control

I wouldn’t trade money for my soul

I had to escape

I had to leave

there were greater ideas

like love in which I still believed.

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