Life is like one big dream
with symbols to help you understand what it means
a bit fuzzy and always funny
like a bubble blanket under water
cuddling up like an innocent daughter
my boat is my body
my vessel for this journey
my mind is the captain
the water and the fish swimming
life is like one big dream
floating and swimming in the stream
going with the flow or finding
another way – like salmon who
forces her against the stream to spawn in May.
feeling grossly poetic
angry, enraged
taken advantage of
where are my boundaries?
How easily I let them down
in a dream
all a dream
I try to fight back
I’m ridiculed
FUCK YOU!
I’ll take no shit
you pinch my nipples
hold me down against my will
the tables turn
they do – they did
I stabbed him
with fury and revenge
don’t fuck with me
ASSHOLE.
I’m a force to be reckoned with
Don’t mistake my gentle nature for being weak.
I will not be taken advantage of
FUCK YOU!
Canary yellow
wire and mesh
a daffodil’s teacup
bigger than life
its the powerful and luminous dragon
flocks of birds
glistening white, smokey grey and deep black
silhouetted, highlighted
against an ice creamy sunset
Dreams of soup filled test tubes
slip on this new view
take a sip – see if its you
sample, experiment, try it on for size
there’s absolutely no obligation to buy
even if you do – rest assured sweet infinite soul
as in this great smorgasbord
everything has a shelf life
everything can be exchanged for less or more
Today in the sunlight you stand in a shared reality
the “collective conscious” so they say
I stand as a tall white woman
yet in my sleeping dreamtime I can be anything
last night a minature latino
anything is possible…
larger than life indeed –
new found confidence and self-esteem
waking dream…
sleeping dream…
slipping on a new view.
stormclouds
pouring rain
thunder then lightning
an electric shock
shattering the pitcher
into thousands of glass slivers
causing me to bleed
as i finger swept
into shapes upon the floor
they punctured through
piercing my heart
cutting to my soul.
the wind kicked up
debris and dust
swirled and twisted
into an oklahoma dirt devil
casting teardrops into mud
the storm kept raging
a calm set in
enveloped in teh eye
the center
where the sun shines down
and light is found
the caked mud dried
was carried away
with a gentle breeze
little birds sang in harmony
while gathering the picture pieces
in a pile under the sun
in the encompassing warmth
they glistened and liquified
overflowing from my hands
into a heart shaped mold
the glass heart strung around my neck
worn on the outside
it hung
until one day
my new transparent heart
and i became one
from that day forward
it catches the light rays
shining bright like a star
shooting from deep inside
from shattered glass
to inner beauty
reshaped from the past
swimming around
in the dream
sometimes in the warmth
in the light way up high
and other times
yes they happen too
i find myself in the deep
dark cold blue
all various shades
of the mighty spectrum
of life… of the dream
the american dream
or whatever that seems
the collective unconscious
the one thats planted
from a bygone era
the one that isnt mine
that isnt yours
but belongs to those
who hold the strings
who orchestrate the show
once i stepped outside
away from the scene
thats its all so mindless
we’ve been cogs in the machine
its hard to see this
when thats all we see
but ive seen more now
and can’t return
i know theres another way
than the “american dream”
that silly silly american dream
or whatever that means…
Am I sharing too much of me?
Is that even a possibility?
I just want to be free
when life is filled with such uncertainty
I say it as I feel it
I’m always connected but I just never fit
I know I’m not the only one not engendered from a kit
like one of Nana’s uneven perfect stitches
that all come together with that common thread
turning patches into one big bedspread…
I put it out there
no other release can compare
I’m not always fair
but I always care.
Don’t bare too much soul
a kind of messenger said to me in a dream
you can’t take it back its not what it seems
then all of the sudden a night sky
turns into a ceiling full of beams.
but it is just me – I must remind –
the same yet different girl still confused by time
who enjoys writing thoughts in a rhyme
which makes her happy and feel quite fine…
I want to kill that mosquito
the one that keeps biting me
and draining my chi
it comes to me in the night
when I have given up the fight
it takes up my energy and doesn’t allow me to write
Please find another body to bother
I want to gain my own closure
but its hard when it is also a haggler
in my mind… possibly so
and even though I’ve left I haven’t fully let go
so it flies around me when my head hits the pillow
I am now a hemisphere away
but it finds me anyway…
I guess I must really be drenched by the rain
for it to leave me and cause me no more pain.
So Let the Rain Fall!
Leave Me Be Mosquito!
You drew me in
as I pulled you too
like a magnet to the metal
like a fish to the choral
I wanted to share my bubble time-lapse
I sat upon your lap
I closed all noticeable gaps
wrapped my body around yours
embracing every physical contour
we closed our eyes
let our energy build like a city high rise
the sunrise began slow and it opened our skies
yet someone from outside
interrupted with redeyes and whys
I asked politely that they be quiet and just stand by
they didn’t understand but reluctantly complied
after I explained that the moment needed to happen first
where its natural and unrehearsed
so we can totally be submersed
letting the love and energy quench our thirst
we won’t need any drugs
we’ll be high from our hugs
we’ll dance all night in the grass or on the rug
while chasing around the flashing lightening bugs
January 3, 2009
Rising with force and vigor out of the deep blue water, people trying to peek in as I shower with drops like rain on my head… another burst of ferocious energy and I’m catpulted into the air – finally out of the water – in excitement and a sense of freedom, the energy spins me around and I go higher – water droplets flying off me – Orange, Yellow, Blue