In hope for more

so here i am
where i thought i would be
but not how i want it to be
not feeling quite like my best me
sure i can make it work
sure i can morph and transform
compromise
not really my thing these days
not at all
so change is in the air again
oh yes again indeed
there is always a reason for the wind
surely enough the breeze is picking up speed
its not due to lack of opportunity for money
for making a life in the wine country
but its just not me
perhaps it was before
but i’ll never know
lifetimes away from now

i am blessed with incredible gifts
of seeing things as they are
with the ability to follow my bliss
to redefine and forecast
in ways beyond my comprehension
manifestations of dreams
all of them from my past
the same one that led me here
but i am no longer that
so now i guess its time to dream again
to make smaller steps
to build the foundation
to continue my climb
my growth
all or none or so it seems
take it or leave it
these incredible dreams
but for now…
for now…
for now…
just looking for simple happiness
simple truths
simplicity
yet yearning for a bit of a steady home
which i can make happens when i choose
but the wind keeps on blowing
my mind keeps expanding
and my heart… oh my heart… it keeps me moving

i am a feeler with incredible intuition
aware in so many ways
yet a novice to it all
not knowing how to really harness it
so move i must
thats all i seem to know right now
move until i feel it
hopefully someday that feeling will sustain

to leave one reality for another in hopes of something better…

A Ship Called Boxcar

On a ship called “Boxcar”, we did sail

from the southern tip of the US

into the deep teal blue ocean

hosted by situational pirates drinking whiskey and ale

harmless and generous folks sporting dreads

in need of love and a bit hesitant

I opened myself up and eventually they did too

as we snorkeled in tandem

observing the underwater world

of swaying plant life,

fish long yellow and black

as well as low swimming huge colored an electric blue

a squall came our way

an opaque veil of rain had covered the view

they all hit the deck – seeking cover

but I kept my place

wanting to feel the intensity 

I sat it out

a peace came over me

as the sailboat was tossed around

as the rain pounded down

it was confirmed in that moment

that all things do pass…

and if I could make it through this

I could weather anything coming my way,

as I journey down my path

following my internal compass –

the squall moved on, the sun shone bright

my eyes forever changed

I’ve gained new sight

that will continue to lead me

towards the light.

On the Road Again

In a few short hours

I’ll be on the road again

waving a fond farewell to the desert

while heading back to the state

where it all began.

this time in a different way

I’ve learned about life and love

following my intuition

and making the most of every day.

there is so much out there

in this expansive world of ours

a variety of different lives to live

an abundance of options

a plethora of fragrant flowers

so many things to waste away the hours.

Tomorrow I’m heading on the road again

who knows what the future holds

but I am sure as time progresses

and I keep trekking down my path

that life will continue to open up

love will be found all around

and once again I will overfill my cup.

The Trance

You see

its all new to me

as novice as i can be

naive to an extreme

i don’t know what it means

i don’t know anything

i can tell how i feel

i’m even compelled to sing

thinking of you

the energy transfers

pulsates and envelops my being

words just come out

motion just happens

the flow is so incredible

but extremely foreign

it makes me nervous

when i’m out of the trance

when i come back to earth

after being higher than…

well, there’s nothing to really compare

shew

exhale

i’m ready to try again

i’m ready to fly again

Still Dancing

Just keep on dancing

and all will be alright

release yourself of worry

no time for an internal fight

just enjoy the music

and dance tonight.

The wind may blow

the rain may fall

just spin with it

open up to hydration

embrace it all!

Don’t think of stopping

but feel free to pause

take a moment to catch your breath

but get back out there

and keep grooving!

All night long

no stress, no afflictions

just feel the beat through you

let your body get a movin’!

It’s in that moment

where freedom is found

so liberate your soul

no need to let yourself down

no need to hold back

you can even close your eyes

if it feels right

but don’t have a concern

and leave behind all your cares!

Just keep on dancing

find your groove

keep on dancing

bodies are meant to move!

Embracing Femininity

Time to embrace

my god given gift

the all mighty

power of femininity.

my body

my curves

my scent

my vessel

housing my soul.

blessing it is

hard to express

in a conservative society

like the one that exists.

so much more than just flesh

a truth i am starting to understand

something to explore

not to be afraid of

or to feel any shame from

embracing my femininity

at the eve of thirty

in this rebirth i shall

be one with it in all ways i can.

At least I will know

If there is one thing that is for sure

at least I will know

whenever the time comes

whenever I go

that I’ve tried out some options

some different realities

of life here and there

there won’t be regret

nor any confusion

as I’ll have experienced my life

adding to my personal season.

looking out to the grey desert clouds today

after climbing through a rhododendron thicket yesterday

i am reminded that everything is what i make it

every bit of this life is here because its what i choose.

if i stay long enough i’ll know how my soul feels

how it longs or linger or what it finds real

i guess i’ll keep moving

along till i find

the place where i feel the best

where the sun shines bright.

the thing is that the light shines here

and it also shines there

some places a little more

some places a tad bit clear.

the smell of the dry pinion pine

traded for the honeysuckle of north caroline

of course there’s a happy medium in which i will find

i wonder if its the place i started

the one that transcends time

that stays with me wherever i go

that holds steadfast flying high like the crow?

rhyming my way through the roots of my mind

the leaves of my being

and the branches of time

it sure helps me at least i believe

that at least I will know

what life is like because i’ve tried

because i’ve thought about it

because i’ve made my life mine…

The Spiral Continues

the spiral continues

the pendulum swings

i’m back here in the desert

where i learned to use my wings

happy to be back

in this space once again

the feeling is what spurred

my traveling trend

traveling of heart

traveling of mind

trying my best to understand time.

i’m back here now

feeling it all again

even my hair looks the same

as it did back when

i’m different now

yet it still takes all that it can

it doesn’t leave what it doesn’t want

it just takes and takes and takes

its relentless

survival mode comes into play

the important things are the focus

in the dry long days

like health, true health.

like prosperity that is surely relative

but here anything more than what is here

seems to fit that bill

as simple as water, oh yes, water.

water, life, prosperity

sucking, taking i can feel it

this time around its more intense than before

a feeling that makes me want to run

run right out the door

back to the mountains

where life abounds

back to where life is

where easy people can be found.

the spiral, three times thus far

lucky i am to experience this too

lucky i am to know i can make it through…

Release, Decompress

Lots of input

an overload

needing an overhaul

time to decompress

what better place

than where the ol’ coyote howls

the cactus bloom

and the bats fly at night.

the desert

where everything is taken

so appropriate

such a place to release

to review and gain insight

upon myself

upon my journey

upon this life

baring my soul

once again

there is no place to hide.

The light, Oh the light

The light, oh the light

dancing through the canopy

from daybreak through twilight

amazing it is

everywhere you look

something new to see

a new perspective on the same thing.

nature’s ever changing beauty

is apparent in each moment

an evolving landscape

with time to enjoy it.

brightly colored petals

veins in the leaves

highlighted climbers

and moss on the trees

taking your attention

where she pleases-

a delight for all the right reasons

growing, living, dying

in each season.